God of Thunder shares exercise secrets of the Gods
The Odin Son himself and God of Thunder, Thor has come down to Earth from a recent visit with his brother and sister gods on Mount Olympus and Asgard, with a breakthrough revelation intended to get humanity in shape again, while boosting the praise and thoughts of humanity back towards the gods.
Ryan Frye, cosplay liaison to Asgard and a source close to Thor and the Heavenly Council on Human Affairs has confirmed that the gods of both Olympus and Asgard want to have more of a hand and input into the human condition once again. However, thanks to the godly influence of our resident Avenger along with his Earth-bound liaison and Super Friend, Dianna Prince, the gods themselves understand that the best way to influence humanity is either through their collective wallets or their ever increasing waist lines.
As even the purse strings of Mount Olympus and Asgard are tight in the current financial climate, the gods have put together a unique form of exercise with which to influence humanity. For thousands of years, the gods have maintained their heavenly physiques through a unique form of godly speed walking and ancient zumba called ‘Prancersizing’. From Thor, to Hercules and Princess Diana herself, Prancersizing has worked wonders for godly gluts, pecks, thighs and waist lines and now the gods are giving Prancersizing to humanity.
The view from on high is to get Humanity in shape and in the process, boost ye old and nearly forgotten monthly quota of thoughts, praise and with enough positive results in the long run, perhaps even a little prayer. While the gods are not naïve enough to consider that the old forms of worship will resume, both Father Zues and Lord Odin recognize that a human who prays to lose weight is almost as satisfying as a human praying to gain the favor of the gods!
In anticipation of a successful Prancersize campaign, Thor and Wonder Woman have begun visiting cities throughout the world to demonstrate the practical application of Pransercize. Just last week the Amazonian Justice Leaguer visited and Pransercised in and around Sao Paulo Brazil, while the God of Thunder himself Prancersized his way through the picturesque streets and sidewalks of Winter Park, Florida, as seen in the video below:
Before begin his romp through Winter Park, the God of Thunder addressed humanity by simply saying, “People often wonder how I stay so Mighty, I’ve got one word for you; Prancersize!” And with a glint in his eye and thunder in his step, the God of Thunder Prancersized his way through the hearts and minds of overweight humanity once again!
Already the Pransercize craze is sweeping over the mortal world thanks to the viral video now making its way through the internet, of the Odin Son himself Pransercising in Winter Park, Florida. Florida exercise studios have since began offering outdoor Prancersizing classes, begun by Elite Fitness owner, Rick Stafford of Orlando Florida at firstname.lastname@example.org.
First the gods gave fire to humanity and now they have given us Prancersizing and already people throughout the world have begun praising the godly form of exercise as their waist lines have shrunk and their self-esteem has increased upwards towards the heavens and the ever-grateful immortal gods of the Prancersize!
Written By: Tye Bourdony
Tye Bourdony is a Sci Fi cartoonist and creator of ‘The Lighter Side of Sci-Fi’, a mediator, deep space traveler, lead interstellar reporter for the Galactic Enquirer and the U.S. based content editor for Sci Fi Pulse. He is also a graduate of the Barry University School of Law, SUNY Purchase and H.S. of Music & Art. Tye currently works in Florida’s 9th Circuit as the staff Divorce Mediator and has a regular self-published column in Sci Fi Magazine. You can visit Tye on Facebook and at www.thelightersideofscifi.com or send him your thoughts and story/article ideas to TBourdony@scifipulse.net.